De-cluttering Life

I believe you’re a product of your environment.

The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on who you are.

We all have choices, we know you can’t pick family, you have zero control over your upbringing but you have the final power in making the right choices for you.

I have been really unwell this pregnancy far more so than I’ve let on.

I pop on a smile I get shit done, I come home I’m a mum and wife, friend and god knows what else and I go to bed feeling shitty tired and run down.

When you feel like crap, you often reflect on everything else.. it’s self pity and a search to cast blame.

Of course this is my Hubby’s fault! I had no part in this baby making process or the decision to grow our family. For fucksake Jason you wanted this… deal with my shit!

That man is a saint..

Suddenly it’s starts to snow ball.. one thing feels broken so now everything is shit.

You become a negative Nancy and pretty hard to tolerate by those who’ve seemingly got there stuff together.

Come on, we all know that draining life sucker who only ever complains.

I need a holiday.. ok organise one! I can’t too busy..

There’s always something wrong, they are never happy and convinced the world is their enemy and they are victims.

How dare the universe not serve their every desire on a platter and deliver it to their front door.

It’s called working hard! It’s called goal setting and it’s called a reality check.

The best motivational speaker I’ve ever been to was a man called Robin Banks, his philosophy is simple and so bloody effective it’s crazy!

No one tells you how to wake up each day.. that’s your choice!

You have a choice to wake up and think positively, you don’t have an evil twin tapping you on the shoulder demanding you be a bit happy or negative!

That’s for you to decide.. stop watching the news first thing in the morning!

5 car crashes and starving kids in war torn countries are happening all over.. we are aware – do you have to start your day on such a negative note seeing that?

De clutter your life in terms of doing away with bad vibes, narcissistic people and situations that bring you down.

Stop worrying about the small things, concern yourself with your life and stick your opinions in the bin.

So many people get their undies in a twist giving their opinion all the time.

I know myself I got the shits the other day when a mother called out my local medical centre for not updating her immunisation record.. this was on Facebook for everyone to see.

For god sake, call them – in 5 years I’ve never had an issue maybe it was a busy off day for them.. your going to ruin their good rep by one mistake!

But do you know what happens when one person posts a negative comment?

So do 50 fucking others!!!!

It’s a breeding ground for negative Nelly’s.

It was at that point where I said to myself.. my opinion doesn’t matter to these women, why upset myself.. move on, not my issue!

De cluttering negativity feels so empowering!

The key is minding your own business, being happy with what you’ve got and not comparing your life to others.

As I said in a previous post, so many including myself go to great lengths to paint a picture of a perfect reality!

It doesn’t exist.. you can have all the money in the world, but I sure as shit wouldn’t want to be married to Kanye West!

Im sure Kimmy has her struggles like the rest of us, even in a heavily scripted, edited faux reality as depicted on tv!

It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Live your best life and to hell with what others think.

I know being the best you inspires others, I’m sure you’ve all got that person in your life you feel imitates what you do.

It’s flattering that others would want what you have, but it’s sad they can’t dream up their own version of it.

Spend more time in your space, set goals always and cut out anything that takes up too much of your time worrying.

A great quote is, the outcome is never going to be different no matter how much you worry about it!

I speak from experience.. I’ve been the worst green eyed monster! Always wanting more.

I don’t come from money, my hubby and I work hard and we earn it!

But I’ve worked around the most affluent people and it’s hard to keep up appearances.. you find yourself wanting a lifestyle you can’t support because of your environment.

Jason could never understand, he was a tradie stuck to his roots and very humble.

I wanted a Range Rover, LV handbags, cosmetic enhancements.. I wanted people to look at me with envy.. I was turning into a shallow person and it was the company I was keeping.

All superficial..

I’m not saying you can’t work hard and enjoy the finer things.. I do now and I appreciate it.

But the difference is I’m not living a lifestyle to make others jealous or making myself feel good..

I’m living my true life, one I’m happy in and if I can afford to splurge I will if not I’m good to go without but either way it’s for me and no one else.

I had to make a choice, step back and look at where my life was heading.. I stepped away from that circle and found myself again.

That was only just recently! The best thing about rock bottom is there’s only one way up!!

My fleeting moments of being on tv and being pulled apart taught me so much about myself and helped me reevaluate life.

Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to get you thinking or maybe one day you will be sitting at home in self pity mode and just be tired of the constant cycle of what your life is because of your choices.

You have so much power.. you just don’t realise it.

I’m speaking to those who feel flat, like they are searching for something!

I lost myself trying to please everyone else! I found me again once I decided I needed to start making better decisions for me.

It’s not selfish to want to be truely happy! I’m not talking about content and I’m not talking about a perfect life.

I wake up happy because I am not living a false me, I fell back in love with a man who I thought I’d be divorcing.

I reconnected with the old Jess and put my family first..

Material crap is a byproduct of our hard work but our family is the epi centre of our combined happiness and my reason to get out of bed everyday feeling sick as a dog!

I need to stress my life is not amazing, I didn’t marry Prince Charming and it’s been a hard long very emotional ride for us.

I’m just an everyday person, someone you’d just walk by on the street..

I simply de cluttered the poor choices in my life, started thinking about myself a bit more and prioritised what was important to me.

In whatever form that is for you, I’m not sure! But I’ve met more than my fair share of negative people.. if you’re one of them it’s not hard to shift your mind set and be a better influence in others lives.

I think every one deserves to be fulfilled and happy with their life, no point in living just to exist!

If you find yourself stuck that’s never a natural feeling.. it means there’s something not right or missing.. you should seek comfort and the feeling of safety!

Don’t stick to bad relationships, friendships or situations because you feel obligated or stuck.. change your environment to something that serves you.

Your environment could mean your head space! I thought my marriage was a toxic place that it was broken and was the cause of my issues.

I was so wrong! I was blinded and I was stubborn.. I changed my priorities, I changed my mindset and I started to compromise.

Non of that changed the crappy 2 years we’d just spent wanting to kill each other but it reinforces that sometimes it’s not the other person entirely., sometimes it’s not the situation!

Sometimes it’s you!

Change to me is so scary, I’m a creature of habit but fuck it’s as good as a holiday when it’s needed.

Wow that was a deep one! I lay in bed sick with my thoughts.. apologies x

Jess

You can see all my cooking, baby stuff and selfies on insta @jess.mkr