That’s a Wrap…

So now the cameras have stopped rolling the sun has literally set on our TV journey, so many people have asked what’s next???

I wish someone would tell me, I am kind of fumbling around this area of my life a little at the moment.

Emma and I didn’t apply for the show to become famous, we didn’t even think we had a shot at the money to be honest. We are sisters, who live next door to each other, literally text from 5.30am till one of us falls asleep and enjoy each others crazy quick humour and company. We thought it would be a fun thing to experience together so filled in an application form and the rest as they say is history….

When you go into something like this blind, with no plan or motives the question of what’s next puts as much pressure on you as the dreaded… “so when are you going to have a baby” literally the second you say “I do”!!!!

For me, my passion has always been in charity, from a young age I volunteered with The Starlight Foundation at the Sydney Children’s Hospital in Randwick. I hosted a radio show and entertained the kids in the starlight room as well as Wish Granting. From feeding the homeless to raising funds for the Cancer Council – its in my blood to want to help!

I feel its only natural now for me to do something of my own and one thing we have been blessed with in doing the show is the amazing people we have met.

I am really looking forward to sharing that part of my life with you all and having everyone involved.

What else can you expect from coming blogs, EVERYTHING!!! I am a classic over sharer and often get myself into trouble with my BIG mouth. I hope and pray my husband doesn’t read my posts, I can get away with telling you a lot more that way.

I have a potty mouth and a sense of humour as crude as a sailor… in honour of my Father former CPO in the RAN.

Warning I will complain about my pregnancy and may or may not refer to vag’s, bums and doodles… it is what it is so just work with me.

I do, and I am about to praise myself… think I am a great Mother!! I don’t do Mother’s groups or flip charts with numbers but I love the shit out of my little man and provide a home that is fun and encourages him to be whoever he wants to be and I am so proud of what my husband and I have done in raising him…. I can’t even keep a plant alive and sometimes feed my cat twice in a row because I have a terrible memory! But I did this part of adulting very well. SOOOO I think I am in a good place to hand out some Mummy advice here and there.

I will spare you my food crap… I think we established I aint too great in that department, but if ya’ll want it I can have my arm twisted.

Beauty… or should I say Beast??? I am not feeling to Beauty-ful, I’m bloated and don’t fit any of my fabulous clothes (see I am already complaining about my pregnancy and this is just my first post). I was one of those arseholes who told everyone that would listen what a perfect pregnancy I had with my first… oh me? yes I didn’t put on weight, no morning sickness, ummm wait for it ( this needs its own paragraph)

EASY birth, no pain!!!! yep yep yep that was ME!!!! yeah because I am that twat head that rubbed it in people’s faces this time round I think there’s a good chance I am giving birth to a monster truck!! boy have I suffered. I really want to tell you this really horrible, ok I will save it, back to Beauty.

Yeah I will take you on little journey into my sisters bathroom who actually spends money on that stuff… best you are getting from me is a coles wetone I use to take my makeup off with… hahahahaha im crying because that’s not a joke.

AND believe it or not, I actually run a very successful real estate agency in Sydney! I am so proud of my Team and really love what I do, having been in the industry since leaving school its all I know and I get a kick out of seeing people succeed, I am always happy to mentor and help aspiring agents. So you will more than likely hear lots about what I do.

Lastly and MOST importantly my family is the epi-centre of my universe, we are huge, we are dysfunctional and make the Osbournes look civilised but we wouldn’t be us without them… you will be introduced to my crazy world and will often walk away feeling violated and in shock, but you will come back for more because you can’t help yourself. So much material there I could write a book.

THANK YOU for reading… sorry for all the digression and I hope you are intrigued enough to come back xxx Love Jess

 

 

 

 

 

Finding me..

It’s so cliché, when something doesn’t go to plan in life it forces you to either retreat and close off or you use the strength to find a better version of yourself.

I’m over the doom and gloom of this happened to me and I don’t know how I survived it scenario.

Truth is shit happens to everyone in varying degrees and my story is no different to anyone else’s struggles.

I have an amazing platform to share my life and it has helped others in the past, whether it be an experience I have shared or just through others relating!

I just found myself consumed in return stories and while I care so deeply it has been draining when fighting my own battles!

So I am giving no detail.., just know in the last year I have continued to fight daily to find normal.

However I lost myself long ago and recently found my centre of gravity again and I can not tell you how amazing I feel.

No one took my hand and showed me an easy way, I lived every single shitty minute of my experiences and decided to come out the other end a totally new person with a very different outlook on life.

I have started a business that encompasses my passion and gives me an outlet to be creative and live a dream I only ever imagined, I’m going back to my roots with a new job that allows flexibility and happiness, I’ve dropped the daily stress, thrown myself into being the best mother and wife by being present and taking interest in every aspect of my children’s life.

Most importantly I started focusing on me, it’s been a work in progress and a mental game of determination I have had to battle and push myself towards my goals.

Health and fitness again seems cliche, but I can tell you once you’ve changed your mindset and really get into and see the results of your hard work there is no turning back.

I have time for myself, I invest in me and I am dedicated to reaching my fitness goals.

With that in mind I shut out the bad and the only thing on my mind is where I want to be. Giving up, slacking off or going backward will not get me there.

I wake up with hope and optimism that the day will bring a new adventure and it’s up to me to make the most of it.

The bad is a reason to fight on and I know will be distant memories soon enough!

A positive growth mindset is invaluable you can mope around and be bitter or you can harness the energy and be the change that’s necessary.

While no one held my hand I’ve had so much support and a few people so instrumental in where I am right now and will be forever grateful for the guidance, the reason for change and advice they have given me.

While I have no interest in being a Victoria’s Secret Model and it’s not about image… it’s about feeling confident and that overpowering internal shift that you’ve succeeded.

It’s all positive vibes, its leaving bad experiences and negative influences behind me and optimism about the future!

So incredibly excited to share this journey with everyone.

I hope those who are feeling they have lost their way bogged down in life’s mess will see there is a better way forward and it starts with being selfish and investing in yourself!

Doesn’t necessarily have to be working out or training it could be anything that takes your mind of the negative and gives you an outlet for change.

Love Jess xxx

Pretending is ok.. till it’s time not to

Ok firstly, many apologies for such a long break in blogs.

I was creating a human and working a million hours a week and pretending to win at life.

“Pretending”… it’s been fucked!! No winning just existing and pushing shit up a hill.

But you know what, it’s ok to have shit fall apart, as long as you intend to rebuild.. spend some time refurbing the old you while your at it and splash some proverbial life cash on you to feel good and alive again.

I’m in realestate so excuse the cheesy analogies, but every one is always curious why those lovely big half finished houses just sit there..

Don’t settle for staying unfinished, always a little bit happy, or a little bit content just to see you through.

Life isn’t about being a little bit of anything!

Fall apart.. but rebuild.

What the actual fuckeroo am I talking about?

Motivation to not feel sad about things that don’t go according to plan and being ok with not winning.

Having just been through the scariest most traumatising experience of my life (trust me I’ve had some pretty shitty shit happen to me in life, but this was 1000% worse than all that combined).

I had 2 choices:

1. Run and hide, fall into a deep dark hole of stress and worry and let everything go to shit

Or

2.”Pretend” I’m ok till I am ok.. work on me, find a positive and kick adversities ass

A very inspiring woman who I am so very fortunate to have met on social media, said to me “don’t water down my experiences because you think others have it worse”

I’m allowed to own what’s happening to me.

But I acknowledge others have it worse.. doesn’t change your hell.

When your faced with the prospect of your child not surviving it changes you.

I am so grateful to my support network, my sister Emma, Husband and best friend Dean didn’t leave my side the entire time I was in hospital they held me up!

Not only was my newborn baby in intensive care with a potentially fatal illness, I was worried sick with maybe not having a job, thinking about how I’m going to pay the bills, my eldest son not adjusting to his new role, mounting debt from me not giving a shit about anything and not keeping on top of things, someone I needed more than anything not being there for me and a very close family member in hospital and sick.

These are all standard life things, ok and manageable if they happen randomly, but all at once???

Fuckkk.. what did I do in a past life to deserve this, was my initial thought.

But you know what.. shit happens sometimes all at once and you’ve just got to deal with it.

Easier said then done right? Nope.. wrong!

You control how you feel everyday, it’s an incredibly hard thing to master but once you realise the power is in your hands, everything changes.

I decide to feel happy every day I wake up, I pick what I’m grateful for and I block out the negative.

Clouding my mind with dark energy only made me feel worse and the worse I felt the more unbearable the world became.

Hope is all I needed and the rest my mind took care of.

To this day, I’d still describe my emotional state as “fragile”, if I had a warning label it would tell you to use caution and handle with care.

But the world doesn’t stop for anyone, I’ve still got a job, my bills are being paid, my baby is fighting fit, my eldest son is still being a turd and a very special close family member is still sick.

My battle continues, But I’m not “pretending” anymore, actual strength has kicked in and taken over.

My perception changed, circumstances shifted slightly and gave me some breathing space.

I didn’t deal with it all at once, I allowed my heart the time to pick what needed attention first and sorted things out one thing at a time.

Our demons are all different, yet the feelings are all the same.

The power to overcome shit falling to pieces is in us all., you just need to make a choice to run or fight it.

Running is not the answer but it’s not the wrong thing to do either.

If you keep one thing in mind.. it should be this!

You are meant to have hard times, shit things happen.. these events define you, they teach you things.

You can’t buy an express pass in life to skip the lines… (it’s not Disneyland) you have to absolutely go through the land mines to become you!

This isn’t a Jess pitty party so you’ll feel sorry for me, this is an honest depiction of who I am and my internal battles.

I smile and my crazy personality hides it all, I have days where I give up and others where I bounce out of bed.

But I’ve learnt to ask for help and talk about my feelings.

I learnt to pretend enough to not have to anymore and now while I still have really dark days (normal) I am in control.

My photos on Instagram are filtered and I capture beautiful candid moments as a mum, as a wife and sister.. I share my life on social media to inspire travel, love, family connection and to help others.

I’m the first to tell you that reality is only perception!

To recap… shit happens, fall apart but always rebuild, pretending is ok to get you back to the best you, bad things happen to define you (embrace it) and be yourself accept things for what they are and decide to be happy when you wake up.

Live a full life, don’t settle, tackle your issues head on and know your not alone.

Love and hugs to all.

All in good time..

Pretty fitting title, when you’ve not written for a while.

I’m a huge believer in everything happens for a reason, serendipity and fate.

However, I am the most impatient person you’ll ever meet – so not always the best combo.

I’m also intolerant to annoying sounds, I am digressing as I write this because my cat has decided to sit above my head and wash its freshly groomed ass! The sound of its sloppy little tongue is grating on me.

(I’ve just kicked him out of bed, he’ll be back)

Anywho.. where was I??

Ohh yes, timing, patience, fate it’s a beautiful thing when your on the other side.

You see there’s been so many times in my life where I’ve really pushed for things and it simply wasn’t the right time.

There was always some dickhead who would try to comfort me with the age old “everything happens for a reason” line.

Fast forward a bit and what do you know… fuck me dead.. dickhead was right!!

You’re either going to dodge the proverbial bullet or something much better happens.

My inspiration for this blog was an Insta story I seen from a dear friend.

It was just a guy who looked really happy having a drink.

I commented.. in hope.. “is that a peen”

Translation “is this your man”

Response “it’s my peen”

Translation “it’s my boyfriend and I’m so happy”

My heart overjoyed that my girlfriend who I wanted nothing more than to be happy, finally found her perfect peen.

For such a long time I watched her have her heart broken waiting for the wrong person to show some kind of commitment.

She travelled, was smart, stunningly beautiful, funny and so good to be around.

I was the dickhead always advising that when you least expect it and when the time is right you’ll find someone.

And a few good years later, she is in absolute bliss.

I’m sure she wanted to fly kick me to the fanny region a lot over that time.. thinking shut up, what would you know with your peen at home! Don’t tell me it’ll work out!!

Just one amazing example of when the time is right, your peen will come!

But… sometimes what you think you want and what ends up eventuating are very different, but it teaches you something.

The experience makes you a better person, it could force you out of your comfort zone, to try new things that lead to meeting people you’d never have gotten the chance to that fulfil your life much more than what you thought you wanted ever could.

I had an amazing woman reach out to me and thank me for how sensitively I handled a question about the sex of my baby.

I simply said I was blessed to even have children so two boys were fine by me.

Coming from a woman who could not conceive this broke my heart, I suffer from endometriosis and have for many years (runs in my family) so me having kids really is a blessing.

How can you possibly sit there and tell someone in that position everything happens for a reason or to family with a child who was born with a disability.

In this world you don’t get a lot of certainties.. death and taxes are about it really.

But what you will find, is you can learn from everything.

Be open minded enough to see the positive to a situation you think is doomed.

I’ve been fortunate enough to meet people in my journey after the show that I would never have gotten to meet and they’ve changed my life.

Their illness or battle has inspired me, and I’ve gone on to share their story and in turn its touches thousands of others…

I’ve said it before but going through hell lead me to this moment and at the time all hope was lost.

Breaking through is a beautiful thing, those battling can fill their hearts knowing how many they are helping and it’s not all vein.

The one thing I don’t take for granted anymore is the power I have in letting things go.

If it’s not making you happy walk away, if it doesn’t feel right and you’ve got to force it just leave it be.

I’m not suggesting you give up on a goal or throw in the towel when it gets hard, just know your limits and know if it’s not working right now.. there’s probably something better on its way.

You’ve got to step back enough to see the bigger picture and allow yourself the time to prepare for it.

If your impulsive like me this is a hard thing to do!

My biggest higher perspective and opening of my mind came when I lost my Uncle.

When you watch someone dying and you get a chance to live out their last weeks, months, days with them you see life from a very different perspective.

You see first hand someone contemplating all of these moments and a lifetime audit is done in their head…

And it’s at that moment you realise too is somethings do happen for a reason and as much as you struggle to get your head around why.. it could be that you’ll never know and have no choice but to accept it and move on.

Draw inspiration from those strong courageous people that take the darkest moment of their life and turn it into a reason to live.

Holding on makes you bitter and you stop living.

But hold out for the other moments that will knock you off your feet and make you smile..

We all face mountains that seem hard to climb.. we are all going to experience some form of hell we will need to make tough decisions on, but you can see even the worst of situations can be turned into positive ones.

Don’t give up because you don’t understand why something isn’t working out or going your way, be smart enough to listen to your gut… it’s just not the right time.

Switch it up, change your perspective, learn to be happy with what you do have. Embrace life and just be you…

by being you, amazing things will happen.

My wish for everyone is they get their peen and happy ending they so desire, i also wish you all the wisdom to know the difference between getting what you think you want and embracing the alternative and making the most out of it.

Example.. so you don’t think I’m Charlie Sheen rambling: Jase and I pushed for our very first home loan, everything that could go wrong did!! We thought we wanted to use a bank guarantee as the deposit and did everything in our power to push it through for exchange. Just didn’t work and we were devastated, i was pulling my hair out and crying myself to sleep. Turns out a higher power was watching over us, if we had of gone down that path we’d have had no savings left from first homeowners grant and would have gone into a mortgage with zero behind us. The way it turned out, we agreed to a lesser cash deposit and ended up with over $30k savings when the alternative i was pushing for would have ruined us…

Take a step back and enjoy life!

It’s good to be back… love Jess x

It’s evil we are fighting… not a gender

There is so much talk in the media and on social pages around the treatment of women and how we as a society need to change in order to create better protection for us, against sexually related and or violent crimes.

I’ve seen high profile women using their platform in the media to speak out and call for this change.

I’ve also applauded and admired some Men on their stance regarding this and the impact they have on this message.

But calling for change in any situation regardless of what it is, your always met with a bunch of assholes against it and they find some reason to fault the message.

The inhuman and vile comments on a memorial page for a young woman who lost her life in a brutal sex attack and her body just dumped in a park is just not even comprehendible, yet social hysteria will always attract fuckwits who agree.

My view as a soon to be mother of two boys, is that you can teach your children all the respect in the world.. and trust me I have 4 sisters and was raised by a single mother – so my sons will be shown the value of respect and the importance of being kind, supportive and non violent( towards anyone, women paramount) but…

And I have no degree in psychology, this is just common sense and rational thinking

If you are capable of hurting another human being, female or male in such a way that you provoke fear and pain and show no remorse or empathy.. there is something not right with you.

We aren’t talking about off the cuff crimes like one punch here where there’s a possibility of a brain snap and you make the fatal mistake of a wrong decision.

If your praying on vulnerable people with a sadistic view of sexually assaulting them or even worse, there’s more at play and you’d assume mental illness or they have some form of a sick mind.

So a message directed at Men, how to treat women, education, campaigns on intolerance to violence all help yes.. I do feel they may paint men as predators to some and making us feel we need to be careful around them, when quite frankly any sick fuck is capable of doing bad things!

What I know is you can’t change someone’s mental state with a catchy slogan, if you are dark and twisted no emotion will be evoked by this.

What we do need is more support and funding in the mental health space, more education in schools, more facilities to cope with the growing numbers of people who present with some form of mental illness or possibility of.

Screening in schools if parents aren’t able to pick up signs, educate our teachers to look for behavioural warning signs and patterns and give them the power to refer onwards.

Employers watch out for signs in your staff, listen to your co workers, it takes a village.

We all need to take part if you want to see a real difference in society.

I will teach my boys if they see or hear their friends or anyone around them saying or doing anything that would make anyone feel uncomfortable or they found their treatment of them to be extreme or suspicious.. stand up and say something!

As a child something really disturbing and horrible happened to me, this man was just a sick twisted person who lived a normal life and had a family..

For anyone to attempt to or do anything like that is just sick in the head..

Again…. no catchy slogan was going to stop him

Perhaps a family friend or someone close enough may have seen signs of what he is capable of and could have spoken up and I may have been spared the fear of what he tried to do all those years ago!

No campaign of being vigilant with my safety as a woman would have saved me from that situation.

I was asleep on a mattress in a home where I felt I was safe..

I’m just trying to put out in conversation a different perspective..

It’s all well and good to be up in arms about the treatment of women and jump on the man bashing wagon and scream out for change.

As I said, every message and campaign had its merits but they aren’t solutions and in some cases have turned into aggressors.

I don’t want my boys to feel that burden, especially when raised to be good men with strong values by a mother that always stands behind empowering women.

What I do want is them to have enough support in society to be backed up when they pull others up on their behaviour.. I want this to be the new normal, that we stand together in society, in our local communities and actually do something not just throw words around.

1 life lost is way too many! How about all the lives not being lived and the damage it’s caused other women who survived sexual and domestic violence against them.

How do we fix their scars? How do we help them move on with their lives?

It’s a multi layered very complex topic that has divided people, brought out trolls and extreme views.

We need education, more focus on mental health and screening, more thought out campaigns and better resources and support for victims.

We shouldn’t be generalising and putting this all back on men, that’s the easy path to take.. we need to work together!

Everyone should feel safe, no one should be expected to take any measures that others wouldn’t just to survive a day…

But the reality is we live in a world where there are sub cultured scum that lurk in the shadows and we all need to be cautious and look out for each other and these bastards aren’t only men!!

When we finally realise it’s pure evil we are fighting against and not a gender, we will start making progress!

If you need help, if your worried about someone or are in a situation where you feel unsafe.. you need to speak up.

Mission Australia is amazing in helping victims of domestic violence and can be reached on 1800 RESPECT

Lifeline 131114 for support if you are feeling depressed and need help

Or the Police for anything else that makes you feel unsafe.

Women need to know they are supported and there is help available.

My thoughts and love to the victims and their families on the recent sickening crimes.

Quirk it..

Quirky is such a great word, sounds a bit silly but so unique.

It is what it is, but not what it seems!

Me to a tee.. or whatever they say.

My quirks (all 50987 of them) make me who I am.

I was in deep thought the other day, while I was cleaning my ears.

I basically Wet Willy myself every time it made me giggle.

Who else sucks on the end of the cotton tip before they stick it in?

Or is that just me?

It got me thinking how important it is to try your best to get the very early teachings right with your kids.

These are ingrained habits (now quirks, they defs aren’t normal) of mine and I just can’t shake them now.

What’s funny is I know it’s weird to spit in your own ear, I don’t do it when I clean my sons ears – he gets a dry one lol

But I keep on doing it to myself.

I have a funny story about a Wet Willy going completely wrong, so stay with me while I digress just a little.

So one day hubby does the essentials shopping he grabs the “cheap brand” of cotton tips.

I start my day the same way.. shower and orgasm over good ear clean, fuck seriously there is no better feeling!

My eyes rolling back in my head, naked Jess doing her thing going to town cleaning my ears.. until the unthinkable happens!!!

I pull out to switch to my next ear only to find I’ve just got the stick in my hand, the bloody tip is lodged in my ear canal!!

Panic sets in, I’m naked and going to die from a stuck cotton tip!

I chuck on clothes, run over to my next door neighbour crying “please help me, can you see it!”

Nope can’t get it Jess, I can’t see it.

I run around like a headless chook.. guess who cops it next???

Fucking Jason, “you tight ass prick!! I’m going to have to have surgery now because of you and your cheap cotton tips, they are dangerous and you’ve showed no regard for my safety” wah wah wahhhhh crying hysterically as I jump in the car, my last words “I’m on my way to emergency”.

Next victim… mum!

Who was meeting Richard Branson (yeah owner of Virgin) that morning.

I’m on the phone crying to her unable to calm down, good old mumma was willing to sack her meeting with him to take me to the hospital for potential life saving ear surgery!

God I love my mum..

“nooooo mummmy I’m scared”, I kept saying ( I’m 27 years old at this stage)

Next person on my list, gotta call my boss don’t I.. I might need 2 weeks off work for recovery! Ear surgery is very intrusive and high risk.

Fuck.., he doesn’t pick up! I will leave him a rambling voice message crying! That will do the trick.

My phone suddenly starts going crazy, I’m almost at the dr, as I started to calm down I realised I need a prescription for my pill and maybe should just go to my local gp.

It’s Jason’s parents!! “We’re so worried about you, Jason said your in hospital. We are on our way, Luis is taking the day off”

Ohhhh fuckkkk… “ohhh no, no Elli it’s fine, I will keep you posted just seeing dr now”.

Oh dear Lordy lord! What have I done.

So I get to the dr in tears, I walk straight in – sit down.

He hands we a big yellow bucket, shoots warm water in my ear with a big syringe and PLONK, out falls my cotton tip just like that!

Ohhh so no surgery LOL.

Tail between my legs I head into work it’s about 10.15am

As I walk up the stairs, I see everyone in reception gathered around my boss.

They are laughing and looked a little shocked.

My voicemail was sent voice to text, so he didn’t actually hear what I said, he just got a weird text message.

Which read;

“Hi George, I’m stuck. My neighbour tried to help me do a big shit and it didn’t work. I’m on my way to the hospital. It’s very serious and I’m not sure if I will be in, I will keep you posted.”

What the actual fuck.. he thought i was dying from constipation, my mum almost gave up a once in a life time meeting, my in laws took a day off work and were driving 40 mins to see me and my hubby got torn a new one.

All over a tiny cotton tip that fell off it’s stick in my ear!

So what?? I’m a drama queen, it’s a Quirk.

I’m such a catastrophiser!! Nothing is what it seems with me.

I can’t poop with clothes on, I literally have to strip down every single time.

So fear not, I will never do a public dump ever ever!! Too hard, too cold and I just can’t.

I take off my rings, my hair if it’s in a tight pony and some times my make up if it annoys me!

Yep you heard right! Surely I’m again not the only one who does this.

On my 21st birthday card, someone writes – now your an adult it’s time to take a shit with some clothes on. lol

Ohh Quirks, they are great!

I remember studying for the HSC and I had sat there so long I got a circulation rash and convinced myself it was meningococcal and I way dying.

My sister, a nurse was pissing herself laughing at me!

How I gave birth to a 4.5kg child naturally is beyond me! But I spat that child out no worries..

A cotton tip was more traumatic for me than child birth, go figure!

I am the girl that literally ran from a doctors surgery when they tried to swab my throat at 15 when I had strep throat.

I was convinced it was a needle, so I ran off!

Guess what??

My son is the same.. he obsesses over the stupidest shit! The other day it was the elevator was going to explode, because it was beeping.

I was moving in and held it open too long he refused to get in! I’m top floor, preggers!

Imagine my pain, with my child screaming and carrying on about an exploding elevator.

The one trait he gets off me, is my neurotic nature lol.

But at least I’ve spared him a Wet Willy!

On a serious note, I can pull the piss out of myself – I’m very aware of my short comings and quirks.

As palatable or not as they are for some, it’s me and I don’t want to change.

My friends and family know that’s what I’m like, so situations are preempted and Jason doesn’t buy cheap cotton tips anymore.

I laugh at it and I live with it, I hope and pray my children embrace who they are and don’t take themselves too seriously.

I also hope Ethan grows out of his neurotic phase for my sanity lol.

Embrace your strange my lovelies.. apparently they are my most endearing qualities and make me, ME!

You be YOU!

Much love, Jess xx

Insta; @jess.mkr

De-cluttering Life

I believe you’re a product of your environment.

The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on who you are.

We all have choices, we know you can’t pick family, you have zero control over your upbringing but you have the final power in making the right choices for you.

I have been really unwell this pregnancy far more so than I’ve let on.

I pop on a smile I get shit done, I come home I’m a mum and wife, friend and god knows what else and I go to bed feeling shitty tired and run down.

When you feel like crap, you often reflect on everything else.. it’s self pity and a search to cast blame.

Of course this is my Hubby’s fault! I had no part in this baby making process or the decision to grow our family. For fucksake Jason you wanted this… deal with my shit!

That man is a saint..

Suddenly it’s starts to snow ball.. one thing feels broken so now everything is shit.

You become a negative Nancy and pretty hard to tolerate by those who’ve seemingly got there stuff together.

Come on, we all know that draining life sucker who only ever complains.

I need a holiday.. ok organise one! I can’t too busy..

There’s always something wrong, they are never happy and convinced the world is their enemy and they are victims.

How dare the universe not serve their every desire on a platter and deliver it to their front door.

It’s called working hard! It’s called goal setting and it’s called a reality check.

The best motivational speaker I’ve ever been to was a man called Robin Banks, his philosophy is simple and so bloody effective it’s crazy!

No one tells you how to wake up each day.. that’s your choice!

You have a choice to wake up and think positively, you don’t have an evil twin tapping you on the shoulder demanding you be a bit happy or negative!

That’s for you to decide.. stop watching the news first thing in the morning!

5 car crashes and starving kids in war torn countries are happening all over.. we are aware – do you have to start your day on such a negative note seeing that?

De clutter your life in terms of doing away with bad vibes, narcissistic people and situations that bring you down.

Stop worrying about the small things, concern yourself with your life and stick your opinions in the bin.

So many people get their undies in a twist giving their opinion all the time.

I know myself I got the shits the other day when a mother called out my local medical centre for not updating her immunisation record.. this was on Facebook for everyone to see.

For god sake, call them – in 5 years I’ve never had an issue maybe it was a busy off day for them.. your going to ruin their good rep by one mistake!

But do you know what happens when one person posts a negative comment?

So do 50 fucking others!!!!

It’s a breeding ground for negative Nelly’s.

It was at that point where I said to myself.. my opinion doesn’t matter to these women, why upset myself.. move on, not my issue!

De cluttering negativity feels so empowering!

The key is minding your own business, being happy with what you’ve got and not comparing your life to others.

As I said in a previous post, so many including myself go to great lengths to paint a picture of a perfect reality!

It doesn’t exist.. you can have all the money in the world, but I sure as shit wouldn’t want to be married to Kanye West!

Im sure Kimmy has her struggles like the rest of us, even in a heavily scripted, edited faux reality as depicted on tv!

It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Live your best life and to hell with what others think.

I know being the best you inspires others, I’m sure you’ve all got that person in your life you feel imitates what you do.

It’s flattering that others would want what you have, but it’s sad they can’t dream up their own version of it.

Spend more time in your space, set goals always and cut out anything that takes up too much of your time worrying.

A great quote is, the outcome is never going to be different no matter how much you worry about it!

I speak from experience.. I’ve been the worst green eyed monster! Always wanting more.

I don’t come from money, my hubby and I work hard and we earn it!

But I’ve worked around the most affluent people and it’s hard to keep up appearances.. you find yourself wanting a lifestyle you can’t support because of your environment.

Jason could never understand, he was a tradie stuck to his roots and very humble.

I wanted a Range Rover, LV handbags, cosmetic enhancements.. I wanted people to look at me with envy.. I was turning into a shallow person and it was the company I was keeping.

All superficial..

I’m not saying you can’t work hard and enjoy the finer things.. I do now and I appreciate it.

But the difference is I’m not living a lifestyle to make others jealous or making myself feel good..

I’m living my true life, one I’m happy in and if I can afford to splurge I will if not I’m good to go without but either way it’s for me and no one else.

I had to make a choice, step back and look at where my life was heading.. I stepped away from that circle and found myself again.

That was only just recently! The best thing about rock bottom is there’s only one way up!!

My fleeting moments of being on tv and being pulled apart taught me so much about myself and helped me reevaluate life.

Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to get you thinking or maybe one day you will be sitting at home in self pity mode and just be tired of the constant cycle of what your life is because of your choices.

You have so much power.. you just don’t realise it.

I’m speaking to those who feel flat, like they are searching for something!

I lost myself trying to please everyone else! I found me again once I decided I needed to start making better decisions for me.

It’s not selfish to want to be truely happy! I’m not talking about content and I’m not talking about a perfect life.

I wake up happy because I am not living a false me, I fell back in love with a man who I thought I’d be divorcing.

I reconnected with the old Jess and put my family first..

Material crap is a byproduct of our hard work but our family is the epi centre of our combined happiness and my reason to get out of bed everyday feeling sick as a dog!

I need to stress my life is not amazing, I didn’t marry Prince Charming and it’s been a hard long very emotional ride for us.

I’m just an everyday person, someone you’d just walk by on the street..

I simply de cluttered the poor choices in my life, started thinking about myself a bit more and prioritised what was important to me.

In whatever form that is for you, I’m not sure! But I’ve met more than my fair share of negative people.. if you’re one of them it’s not hard to shift your mind set and be a better influence in others lives.

I think every one deserves to be fulfilled and happy with their life, no point in living just to exist!

If you find yourself stuck that’s never a natural feeling.. it means there’s something not right or missing.. you should seek comfort and the feeling of safety!

Don’t stick to bad relationships, friendships or situations because you feel obligated or stuck.. change your environment to something that serves you.

Your environment could mean your head space! I thought my marriage was a toxic place that it was broken and was the cause of my issues.

I was so wrong! I was blinded and I was stubborn.. I changed my priorities, I changed my mindset and I started to compromise.

Non of that changed the crappy 2 years we’d just spent wanting to kill each other but it reinforces that sometimes it’s not the other person entirely., sometimes it’s not the situation!

Sometimes it’s you!

Change to me is so scary, I’m a creature of habit but fuck it’s as good as a holiday when it’s needed.

Wow that was a deep one! I lay in bed sick with my thoughts.. apologies x

Jess

You can see all my cooking, baby stuff and selfies on insta @jess.mkr

Fakebook and the technological sins..

I was lucky to grow up in the generation of the turning point in technology.

I know life without the shit fight of social media, play station, mobile phones and crappy but sometimes helpful sat nav (I end up more lost using the bitch).

We use to play until the street lights came on, mum only had to worry about the dirty weirdos potentially roaming the street, not the predators online.

We were a safer generation, we knew the value of earning a buck in hosting our own car wash on a Sunday afternoon.. climbing trees and riding bikes!

Yeah that’s until Ericsson created these trendy little flip phones in all different colours.. mum got me a colbolt blue one on a plan from telechoice phone shop in Maroubra Junction.

I was in year 7, and absolutely had to have it!

I took it to school the next day and some moles stole it from my bag when I was in class (hated high school, don’t get me started on the bullying I copped).

Anyway, thankfully mum was sucked into phone insurance and I got a replacement mustard colour one (so fancy) with about $900 a month in bills, I was soon put on a restricted plan where only people could only call me.

That was as fancy as shit got in my day.. snake game came a little later, standard in the good old Nokia and text messages were in.

Fast forward 20 or so years later and every single thing you will ever need is at your finger tips.. in fact Jase and I looked at a fridge the other day that did our shopping for us and played our fav tunes.

Toilet seats can pleasure you sexually and you can ruin your relationship in seconds by re-connecting with an ex on facey!

We wake up every morning and before we’ve even said hi to each other we’ve been on our phones for 20 mins.

You don’t have to wonder what impact technology has on your relationship.. you can see it! But just like those god awful ciggie packets with fucked up toes, you pay no attention and suck back on a death stick and continue on with life.

One sacrifice and I say this with a stupid grin on my face (limiting social media, has become a sacrifice) imagine the argument “I gave up Facebook for you”!!! But one promise Jase and I made to each other was less time on our phones more time with each other.

Seems easy in theory until one of us picks up our phone and the other gets the shits! My hubby suffers from what I’ve diagnosed as “phone use delusion” according to him he is never on it… dude do your sports bets place themselves? You hired someone to post that selfie??

I totally admit I’m addicted.. I actually generally have an addiction to my phone and it’s honestly caused more friction in my life than anything else and for some sick reason I can’t stop.

All of it’s bullshit.. it’s fakebook! My cat isn’t silky and fluffy always sleeping on my beautiful new reading chair..

He stinks and is scruffy.. I have to pay some poor bastard to groom him and the twat has clawed the crap out of my nice furniture!

My child is Denis the menace we don’t have a perfect family, we fight and argue and I sure as shit don’t wake up with my eye brows perfect and a fresh face.

My hubby has literally woken up one morning after I washed my hair at night and let it dry naturally and screamed!!

I shit you not.. he actually screamed with fear. “What the fuck, Jess” were his actual words!

Yeah i ain’t putting that on social for you to see!

People let you see what they want you to see..

I want you to see my decorating but I’m embarrassed about my smelly cat, I want to have a good relationship but I’m reluctant to give up time on my phone to achieve it.

Technology has caused so many issues where there weren’t any before.

It can be used for good too, i owe the opportunity to even write this blog to Instagram, I am able to help others and reach people I would never have dreamed of.

But in the same sense it can be evil, it’s broken me too.

So I guess, we have the power to make it our bitch or let it ruin us!

Moderation is key..

Don’t feel crappy because someone’s life looks Pristine and Perfect in social land.. chances are they are using wifi because their phone got cut off because they couldn’t afford their bill (but look at my Gucci shoes with a bee on them)!!

Give your relationships a chance and if you need to cut back do it.. the Gucci shoe lady will have posted a million things for you to catch up on when you do jump on line.

Most of all don’t forget to embrace things outside the digital world.. vivid was shit but it was nice to get out and get some fresh air with my family.

Life’s short.. read the blog, like the shoes, post the selfie but for fuck sake get out and smell the roses too!

Love to all x

Jess @jess.mkr

My boss rocks..

I have been so blessed in my career, from very early on I was surrounded by people who cared. Real estate was something I fell into after my step father passed away.

I wanted to be a criminal profiler and work for the police.. but Uni was not on the cards for me, I was better placed looking after mum and my heart wasn’t in it.

After landing a dead end job, my Aunty pushed me to at least find something that had a career path until I decided what to do.

She actually applied for jobs for me, I got every single one and had choice.

Going to those interviews opened up doors and relationships and even though I knocked back a job, a few years later it would be the best thing I did and it lead me on this path to where I am today.

Grass roots for me, started on reception and made that my bitch! But I always wanted more, I’d walk into the office and picture myself where the director sat and said one day I will be there.

Since my days as a receptionist, I’ve been fortunate enough to climb the property industry ladder and meet some of the most influential minds of our time.

I’ve worked in Double Bay where we dealt with $13mil + properties and rubbed shoulders with people so wealthy they couldn’t spend their money in a lifetime, I’ve worked for a company leading the charge in technology and change in our industry named in the top 20 best places to work… I’ve managed 35 staff and run departments since I was in my early 20’s!!

I’ve stood on stage in front of thousands sharing my experiences and helping others grow in their careers.

I’ve also had a child and continued to work hard and juggle both, mostly with ease.

With some workplaces being more understanding than others!

But one person who has stood out my whole career, who has supported me the most is my current boss “big cheese”! Billy Couldwell.

When I took the job, he knew I was committed to filming and he agreed to let me do it.

I thought I’d be away for a few weeks and get straight back into it.

Yeah.. 6 months later and no face time in the office was not what we’d banked on.

I worked remotely to keep on top of things, but obviously not being present even 1 day a week put pressure on the business.

He still paid me the whole time.

So while most would have found a replacement he continued to support me, knowing there was no benefit to him at all..

Poor buggah is completely jaded by it and the mere mention of the show, I can see his eye twitch..

I’m sure when he sees a magazine with my face on it, he would love to scrunch it up and use it as toilet paper.

Oh and to top it off we weren’t wall flowers who just meshed into the other cast, we were front row and centre assholes on the show… his eye twitch became full body spasms LOL.

So fast forward a few months, the shit storm of reality tv well and truely over, I’m back working as normal..

I drop another Bomb!!

We are out at lunch as he sips on his 3rd cocktail (I keep encouraging him to drink up)

I’m so nervous and didn’t sleep much the night before.. I’m just going to come out and say it.

“I’m having another baby”

Fuck… the twitch is back! I brace myself, I’ve just had 6 months off and now after I’m all settled back in, I break it to him I’m about to have another baby.

To my surprise, he was so happy for me! Said what ever I needed just let him know.

His twitch ended up being a weird smile or maybe he was drunk.. either way it was such a relief.

As a woman juggling motherhood and a career is not easy.

Not only the guilt you carry for making the decision to not be with your kids 24/7 but more often than not workplaces just aren’t very flexible or understanding.

I am so fortunate that I get to continue what I love to do and be a mummy with no added pressure from my workplace.

My boss is flexible and will allow me time with my baby, I can bring him in to the office, work from home and still be valued.

In turn in I’m loyal, dedicated and work my arse off every day to prove my worth to the company.

It’s not been smooth sailing for me, and I’ve been on the receiving end of what it’s like to have workplaces not supportive.

I’ve been told if I have kids, I don’t have a job anymore. My role completely changing on me and pay increases denied.

When you have worked all your life and you’ve made a career out of what you love, suddenly becoming a mother is a really difficult transition.

My husbands life didn’t change when we had our son, but mine did drastically.

I had post natal depression, i couldn’t identify with my old self I felt like I lost me.

The sooner I got back to work the better for me.

Once I did, I found me again. Staying home seemed so much harder.

The world still needs to catch up when it comes to women returning to the workforce.

We need more accepting bosses, like mine.

Understanding that flexible working conditions don’t hinder productivity, if people feel they are valued they work harder.

If they don’t, they can piss off! Can’t stand people taking advantage either.

It’s give and take and works both ways.

We can’t as women just expect flexibility get all huffy when it’s not given and not expect to work hard and give back.

It’s not a given and I do believe it should be earned by your efforts too.

If you are a woman juggling both, reading this I hope you know your not alone.

It’s a very large club and your in great company, always feel valued in what you do.

If your stuck in a workplace that is not supportive, find one that is – it makes such a difference and improves your family life and takes away that strain.

If your a boss reading this, give your ladies a chance, be open to hiring more women and don’t be afraid to be flexible in your business.

There are so many strategies and models that can work in many industries that support mothers.

No one would be in a position to make decisions on this if it wasn’t for us giving up a piece of ourselves and bringing you into this world.. someone has to do it – appreciate the sacrifice and make it a little easier to have the choice in doing both.

You can be a kick ass mother and dominate your job and be just as productive if not more than those who aren’t juggling.

I want to say a huge thank you and show appreciation to my boss Billy, you are a legend and I have so much time and respect for you.

Your an amazing father, my mentor and really good friend.

I owe you a lot and I’m so grateful I get to do what I do everyday because of you.

You let me run your business, trust me with your life and give me credit when it’s due and kick my arse when it’s needed.

Thank you for your support and letting me do the show and being so amazing when it comes to me being a mother and your General Manager.

The world needs more bosses like you.

My final word to everyone else.. you can have it all!! I’m proof of that!

Love Jess

@jess.mkr (Insta)

Bush… no bush??

So the question was asked today at work.. stunning young girl off to Europe in a few weeks, has a date this week!

Should I shave??

“If I shave now, I will not have enough to wax before I leave”.

My immediate answer was scalp that badger girl! Do not offer a furry friend to a suitor who is a reg down there.

(But as soon as I said it I got to thinking)

Now I may not be the best person to give advice on this matter, considering I’ve been married for so long and often am too lazy to shave and when I do, I get in trouble for using my husbands razor..

What?? Guys razors are so much better than ladies.. and for some reason his always works better than a mans razor I buy for myself.

Any ways back to my question..

What is the general consensus on warmth down there?

What’s in fashion? I guess it would depend on your generation really.

My problem is I’ve lived through a few trends..

And my fear is what will come back in trend and what will haunt us! (Like thin eye brows)

The full bush.. mum was our biggest inspiration growing up, when it came to a healthy bush! 80’s chick all the way!

I have so many stories that would make you cry with laughter but I’m sworn to keep it to myself!

I was a late bloomer, so it took me forever to grow anything and when I finally got some feathers I shaved them off in hope it would grow back like mums.

Took me years to get my head around mum was superwoman with a very impressive lady garden (as far as bush standards go)

The landing strip.. I thought this was a funny one, too thin or too thick!! So much pressure! I sported this look from teens to early 20’s! It was a good one for me, I hate my vag so it gave me the coverage I needed.

Enter the Brazilian.., an no I’m not talking about a hot guy called Pablo! It’s as smooth as a baby’s bottom kind of pre teen feeling..

Getting my butthole ripped apart and hot wax wedged between my crack.., um no thanks! I sat this one out! Did it once and ended up with a Pom Pom in my bum LOL hair grew back where there was never any!!

So I just stuck to good old shaving.. almost lost a few flaps on many occasions (one in particular, I was about to go bike riding down Venice beach in LA. Did the quick shave… didn’t go to plan! I had to wear a pad it was so bad!)

Now we have the power of laser!! My fear other than the feeling of being flicked with a 1000 rubber bands on your sensitive twat is…

What if bush comes back in fashion main stream like leather jackets did???

Your committing to a lifetime of hair free carefree low maintenance.

I keep giggling at the thought of all these old ladies with tattoos and no pubes and perfect eyebrows, in the future.

We forget we will grow old one day!

My post isn’t about ranting on about vaginas, if you know me – this is something i do often!

It’s about the pressure women face to keep on top of their gardening!

One guy in our office, let’s call him “Mr Bush” was the only person to say he doesn’t mind bush.. he is only in his 30’s so I was shocked.

I’ve been brain washed that Bush is a turn off… but what pisses me off is Men want to complain about their preference on how that area is presented but they just get to whack their pants down we have to accept their tally whackers in any form!!

They don’t seem to care, so why should we?

Is bush really a boner killer?

It’s so much effort, it’s time consuming and can be expensive to maintain all your bits as a woman!

Hair, nails, toes, lashes, brows, vag…

I panic every time I go to my obstetrics appointments.. what if they prob me?? Did I shave??

I know I’m not going to single handily bring back the bush era but I’d like to think me bringing this up gives you back your power!

My hubby is very vocal, Bush is not his fav thing! If your smart you use it to your advantage. Don’t worry about headaches or doing a poo before bed and not having a shower.. and telling him!

Full disclosure I’ve only pulled that trick a few times in desperate moments, but the bush worked well for me as a way of avoiding sexy time when I just couldn’t be bothered.

I say do what you like ladies! Stop feeling pressured by social norms and trends!

If we need to cop what we are given so can they..

And if it’s love not booty call they will love you bush and all no matter what.

It’s about empowerment and what makes you feel good, it’s your body and your choice.

If your single.. mr bush does exist so don’t fret too much and Murphy’s law states if you don’t shave and wear huge undies your bound to pick up!

Just some food for thought.. I’m over talking about assholes! So to change it up have a laugh at some bush talk and picture our future nursing homes!!

Oh in case your wondering I’m not sporting a full bush I do try and maintain given I have to flash it often enough to doctors.. it’s getting harder as I can’t see it!

You do you ladies!! Bring back the freedom of having bush.. if that’s what you want!

On a side note.. men with no bush make me giggle too.. they only do it because it gives them extra length!

love you guys xxx

Jess xx

Don’t forget to follow me on Insta @jess.mkr

Why so rude..

So I’m doing the old google search of my name, and an article pops up on the daily mail about a recent blog I did explaining we didn’t do the show for fame.

It was a nice change from botched surgery ugly bitches as the headlines.

Apart from the comments section.. keep in mind people have to go out of their way to make comment.

“We’ll status quo maintained, still not famous” one read and the other “good thing they didn’t sign up for fame, let’s face it they’re not”

Thanks captain obvious.. isn’t that what I’ve said?

I know it shouldn’t get to me, but it does.

The only profile i wanted to keep was to help people, I wanted to be the difference in a very self serving world.

While I’m so proud my suffering and what I’ve been through has now made an impact, my blessing is to help others.

But the hate continues, from narrow minded people that instead of skipping over someone your not keen on, they make a point to be rude.

My beautiful cousin has been attacked at work defending us, literally had a news paper thrown at her by nasty women.

Months on, her angst at work still stands, it’s a cooking show for goodness sake!

In a few months a new batch of hopefuls will take to our screens and we will be long forgotten.

I don’t care if I’m remembered for my kickass cheesecake… I care they you remember me for this, who I am! The real me.

If you don’t like this one… the person I get to show you with no editing or creative publicity – it’s your call and i can’t win them all.

Don’t judge others by what you think you know as the truth.

No I’m not famous.. I don’t care to be! While celebs have my full admiration for the constant negativity of social, you literally have to shit golden nuggets to win praise in the industry – it’s not for me.

This blog isn’t some last minute attempt to hold on to some kind of public life..

I simply enjoy the relationships I’ve created with our followers from the show, my way of keeping in touch and still being able to interact.. posting selfies is cool – I’m a big fan, but this is a bit more of me.

I’ve had so many amazing people message me about their struggles.

Bullying is a term used a lot, often warranted – young girls constantly being attacked at school.

Anxiety stems from being the victim of bullying.

You don’t just have to be a child in school to fall victim to it, my cousin is proof adults are subjected to this in their workplaces also.

Everyone thinks because they have an opinion it’s fine to voice it, maybe hold your tongue till you’ve considered it’s impact.

My point is think before you be a dick.. give the poor fuckers a chance on reality tv shows, be smart enough to know it’s not always what it seems!

Most of all be kind to each other! It’s really not that hard.

To the meanies who I will never win over and to all aspiring and graduated trolls..

Suck a fat one… people are waking up to you and pretty soon you’ll have no power.

Read a book, masturbate or go for a walk, volunteer.. get off social and start living!!

My 2 cents on assholes!

Love you all – Jess xx

Don’t forget to follow me on Insta @jess.mkr